K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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