:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
