There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
