The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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