yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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