i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
