I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
