Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
