I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
