just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Bang-toberfest begins!!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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