And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
