Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
