I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize