there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
