you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
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Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
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After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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