My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize