she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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