i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
