I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
