i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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