sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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