She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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