You made me cry and you don't even care
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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