he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
