Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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