a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
