Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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