i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
