Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
