i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
