I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
