but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
