I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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