I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
