Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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