Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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