i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
