When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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