If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
