I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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