Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion

Fav 68 4952 983
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(913): View more from Kansas

I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture

Fav 46 857 3157
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(207): View more from Maine

it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.

Fav 27 4896 1119
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(517): View more from Michigan

Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.

Fav 12 3815 1275
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(519): View more from Ontario

you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..

Fav 2 2592 1373
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..

Fav 2 2641 1218
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(864): View more from South Carolina

turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy

Fav 3 1451 1558
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(702): View more from Nevada

Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic

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(856): View more from New Jersey

It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything

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