I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
nutella sex= disaster
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
