as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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