Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
