He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
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Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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