make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
