I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
