Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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