I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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