that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
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I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
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he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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