This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He kissed a someone with a penis
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
