How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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