McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
