he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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