Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
