Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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