Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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