But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
