You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
