I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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