i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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