Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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