Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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