Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize