Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
