I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
operation have a gay friend backfired
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
