Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
