All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
