You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
