i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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