the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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