it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
